Just A Dream
by Sheiri
Summary: Karin never thought it would end this way. why did this happen? It has to be a dream... It has to be... Hitsu/Karin Just a Dream by Carrie Underwood


**I'm not one for angst or tragedy, but when I heard this song, I had to write something with it. I'm mentally kicking myself for it, though...**

Just A Dream

by Carrie Underwood

Karin Kurosaki had always been an impulsive decision maker. She'd married young, at the age eighteen, in fact. The thing was, she died _before_ she turned eighteen.

She and a boy named Toushiro Hitsugaya had been dating since she was fifteen, and she couldn't have been more thrilled when he proposed. One more catch, he was _dead_.

Karin knew that being with a shinigami was risky business. Not just for the fact that it was illegal, but also because spirits could die again, but after that, they'd be gone forever. When she'd died, there was relief. They could be together legally.

_**It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen  
**__**all dressed in white  
**__**going to the church that night**_

Karin had been restless all week. Her wedding had gone so smoothly, but she had a feeling that something bad was going to happen.

_**She had his box of letters in the passenger seat  
**__**sixpence in her shoe  
**__**something borrowed  
**__**something blue**_

_(Start dream)_

_As Karin walked to the captains' meeting room, where her wedding was to be held, she reread the note she found from Toushiro._

Dear Karin,

I hope you're looking forward to this night as much as I am. The engagement was longer than I wished it to be. I hope that you realize the risk you are taking in marrying me. You know that if I go into battle, I may very well not come back. I have my duties to you, then my duties to the Gotei 13. You will always come first. I love you.

Your soon-to-be husband,

Toushiro Hitsugaya

_She held the bouquet of blue flowers in her shaking hands. Toushiro was right about the chance of him dying on the battlefield. At captain's rank, he was supposedly able to hold his own, no matter what. But with the war with Aizen and the arrancar that had been going on since Karin was just a girl of eleven, she could never know. _

_**And when the church doors  
**__**opened up wide  
**__**she put her veil down  
**__**trying to hide the tears**_

_Karin put her veil down as the doors opened, but tears glided down her cheeks. Why, she didn't know. The scene wasn't what she had expected, and the flowers hit the ground. _

_People were weeping, giving comfort , and there was a coffin at the end of the isle._

_**Oh, she just couldn't believe it  
**__**She heard the trumpets from the military band  
**__**and the flowers fell out of her hand**_

_Her eyes went wide__**.**__ Her breath hitched. "No..."_

_**Baby, why'd you leave me  
**__**why'd you have to go?  
**__**I was counting on forever  
**__**now I'll never know  
**__**I can't even breathe**_

_She slowly walked to the end of the isle, her beautiful white dress turned black as she continued._

_**It's like I'm looking from a distance  
**__**standing in the background  
**__**Everybody's saying  
**__**He's not coming home now  
**__**This can't be happening to me  
**__**This is just a dream**_

_She stopped in front of the casket and cried silently. She touched the wood and remembered all the times she and Toushiro had together._

_**The preacher man said  
**__**Let us bow our heads and pray  
**__**Lord please lift his soul  
**__**and heal this hurt  
**__**Then the congregation all stood up and sang  
**__**the saddest song  
**__**that she ever heard**_

_Geryuusai Yamamoto stepped up on a pedestal. "We have come here today to honor the life and legacy of Hitsugaya Toushiro. He was a noble fighter and a good man. May his soul rest in peace."_

_Everyone there lowered their heads, murmuring last words of honor and grief. _

_ **Then they handed her a folded up flag  
**__**and she held on  
**__**to all she had left of him  
**__**Oh, and what could've been**_

_Matsumoto stood up and walked over to Karin. She handed her Toushiro's sword, Hyourinmaru, in his sheath. A few tears slid down Matsumoto's face and she bowed slightly to Karin._

_Karin grasped Hyourinmaru with all she had and burst into tears and sobs when she felt the sword vibrate against her body._

_**And then the guns rang  
**__**one last shot  
**__**And it felt like a bullet in her heart**_

_(End dream)_

Karin shot up from her lying position. There had been a knock at the door. She got out of her futon and pulled her sleeping yukata tighter to her, then opened the door.

Matsumoto was there with a very grim look. She handed a piece of paper to Karin. She slowly unfolded in, then fell to her knees.

A death notice. She'd gotten a death notice for Toushiro Hitsugaya. _Let it be a dream. Please, let it be a dream._

_**Baby, why'd you leave me  
**__**why'd you have to go?  
**__**I was counting on forever  
**__**now I'll never know  
**__**I can't even breathe**_

"I understand how you feel. It was a shock to everyone. I'm sorry, Karin." Matsumoto consoled.

_**It's like I'm looking from a distance  
**__**Standing in the background  
**__**Everybody's saying  
**__**He's not coming home now  
**__**This can't be happening to me  
**__**This is just a dream**_

Karin felt so useless. She had been staying comfortably at home, while her husband had been out fighting a war. She hated herself. She starting questioning herself. Did she deserve this? Did Toushiro?

_**Oh, Baby, why'd you leave me  
**__**why'd you have to go?  
**__**I was counting on forever  
**__**now I'll never know  
**__**Oh, I'll never know**_

Apparently, Karin's dream had been more of a premonition. She now stood in front of the open casket, looking at her husband's body. She held Hyourinmaru to herself and stroked Toushiro's white hair. It was still as gravity defying as ever. She smiled subconsciously at the thought.

She'd never again get to see the beautiful sparkle in his teal eyes when he was happy. She would never again get to here the sarcastic remarks he made at her cooking. She'd never again get to hear the low rumble of his laugh. Most of all, she'd never get to feel his body against hers, ever, ever again.

_**It's like I'm looking from a distance  
**__**standing in the background  
**__**Everybody's saying  
**__**He's not coming home now  
**__**This can't be happening to me  
**__**This is just a dream**_

After the funeral, she looked over Hyourinmaru. She saw a small piece of paper sticking out of the sheath. She gently took it out and unfolded it.

_Dear Karin,_

_If you are reading this, I am no longer with you. I am sorry to have broken my promise I made on our wedding day. I promised to always put you first. I failed you and the Soul Society both. I am so disgusted with myself. I will never forgive myself for leaving you alone. For leaving you without a family with me. You told me once that you'd always wanted to have a family of your own. I've taken that from you. From this, I wouldn't mind if you decided to remarry. I still love you. I always will._

_Always and Forever,_

_Toushiro Hitsugaya_

Karin smiled and pressed a hand to her stomach. Toushiro hadn't deprived her of a family. He'd given her one, he just didn't know it. She knew she could never remarry. She wouldn't break her commitment to him. He'd always be in her heart and dreams.

She prayed that the child she would be having would have Toushiro's physical features. More specifically, his eyes. His eyes were what made her fall in love with him in the first place. She could always tell exactly what he was feeling by looking at them. This child would be a bond between them, and she would never break that bond. Never.

_**Oh, This is just a dream  
**__**Just a dream  
**__**Yeah...  
**__**Yeah...**_

**Me, being a sap, had to give it a semi-happy ending. Don't kill me.** **I'm actually quite impressed that my brain could think this up...**


End file.
